Friday, 27 March 2009

The Seven Habits of Successful Relationships - Part 3

Hope you managed to test out one or two of the habits already.

If you are time challenged a great way to incorporate the habits into your relationship is to "try one on" for a week. Focus on one habit and use it daily in your relationship for a whole week and see what a difference you notice. After week 1, add another habit and use both of them for another week. See what you notice, and continue the process until you are using all 7 habits.

Success Habit Number 5: Heartfelt Communication

Your partner is not your punch bag or dumping ground. It amazes me how some couples talk to eachother or should I say AT eachother. Often they say things to their partner that they would not dream of saying to anyone else (and I dont mean nice things).

I do believe that respect and heartfelt communication are vital for relationships to survive and thrive. I dont mean you cannot speak your truth or say things that might hurt someone else. Its the way you say something that is important and can make a BIG difference to whether or not your partner is able to hear what you are saying in the first place.

Heartfelt communication is about speaking from your heart, being present and open to love. A good simple line to remember when communicating, is the question "what would love say now?" (I think I first heard this in Conversations with God) - if you have something to say to your partner, particularly if its on a challenging matter, say the above questions a few times, before you speak. I am sure your communication will come from a place of LOVE, rather than anger or frustration.

Success Habit Number 6: Making Your Partner Number 1

Your partner has got to come first, before the kids, before your work, before your buddies, your golf...whatever it may be, your partner has got to be number numero uno.Successful relationships flourish and bloom when you put your partner first.

Unfortunately in too many instances when kids come along, the mum starts to put the children first. It is understandable when the newborn arrives that there is a period of time when the newborns needs are first on everyones list, afterall babies are needy and demanding. HOWEVER, there has to come a time, when the baby and especially kids are put in their rightful position.

Putting your partner first, creates a strong foundation in the relationship. You both seek to put eachothers needs before your own and before anyone elses. You can do this by regularly asking yourself questions like "how can I support my partner today?", "what can I do today so my partner knows they are number one in my life".

When I speak with couples who are having challenges in the relationship, one of them will tell me that they do not feel special or important in the relationship. When one of the partners does not feel special then they will unconsciously start to act out and this will result in all sorts of conflict and drama.

If you have kids, a simple way to let them know that mum comes first, is to make sure mum gets the first kiss and cuddle when you come home. Not only does this teach kids that love and affection are important for both parents, it stops sibling rivalry with the "me first, me first" dynamic.

So write down something you can do to support your partner today and tomorrow I will share with you the 7th habit of successful relationships.

Have fun!
May the love be with you!

Thursday, 26 March 2009

The Seven Habits of Successful Relationships - Part Two

So how were those 20 second kisses yesterday? Did you do it? Did you take action and move yourself a few kisses closer to an even better relationship?

So today I'd like to share with you Habits number 3 and 4

Success Habit Number 3: An Attitude of Gratitude

When was the last time you were truly thankful to your partner. That you really expressed your gratitude to them for being in your life. I think most couples move through the honeymoon period to a time of laid backness in the relationship when they begin to take eachother and the relationship for granted.

Our mate becomes a bit like a comfortable piece of furniture and we no longer see them in the same light as we when first fell in love. It's like having a scotomoa, our eyes no longer see the person, we just exist side by side, failing to notice the little things our partner does for us and sometimes even failing to notice our partner.

The real secret to successful relationships is to take the time to appreciate our partners, to say thank you and really mean it. To really honour the uniqueness in our loved ones and value who they are.

Take a moment now to write 10 things you are grateful for in your partner.

Success Habit Number 4: Seek to find the Divine.

This is a spiritual principle, however it is one that should you introduce to your relationship, it will quite literally bring your relationship to a new level.

When one seeks to see the Divine in our partners, it is really looking at the whole of their being, seeing the essence of God within them, and looking to love and experience them as God would. Seeking the Divine, means holding onto the belief and faith that our partners are always coming from the Greater Good, that they would never do anything to harm you or the relationship. It means never doubting them or their actions, it means believing in them NO MATTER WHAT.

I know couples find this challenging, I know its not always easy to do this. If you bring this element into the relationship, it is an element that needs to be talked about and shared. It becomes a rule in the relationship, one that is abided by. It is a success habit that can bring about enormous love, respect and connection.

I really encourage you to decide how you can begin to implement todays habits into your relationship immediately.

Remember in life, its the little things you consistently do that make the most difference.

Tomorrow we will have habits 5 and 6.

Until then, may the love be with you.

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

The 7 Habits of Successful Relationships

Your ability to create success in life is determined by the habits that you form.

Aristotle once said, " Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act but a habit"

I truly believe that to have a successful relationship with your partner you need to develop habits that support the relationship. Here are the first three.

Success Habit Number 1: 20 Second kisses

When my husband, Allan and I got married we gave the couples an envelope containing quotes for a happy marriage and one of them was to "have lots of 20 second kisses". This got the conversation going and the lips too!

Think about it when you first meet your partner you spend a lof of time kissing, its feels good! In fact, when you are teenager, you spend even more time kissing and you perfect the art. Kissing FEELS GOOD! however, most couples find that as their relationship stands the test of time, problems, children, and stress, they spend even less time kissing.

I think its true to say that less kissing means less intimacy, which generally means less sex. Successful relationships enjoy a healthy sex life. If you want to improve your relationship get back to basics and start kissing. 20 seconds is long enough to stir up the feelings, and the more 20 seconds kisses you have as opposed to a peck on the cheek, the more likely you are to connect with your partner, and to want more.

Success Habit Number 2: Focus on whats great about your partner

When you first met your partner, you spent alot of time noticing what was great about them, you would tell friends about their good points and what you love. My guess is over time one forgets the good points and we tend to notice what we dont like or what irritates us. With this in mind I want to point out two things:

  1. what irritates us in others, is usually something that we dislike or disown in ourselves!!!
  2. what you focus on expands!

I'm not going to overload you with anymore today, as I would encourage you to go and practice those 20 second kisses and write a list of the things you love about your partner.

It takes 21 days to make or break a habit, so imagine how you would feel if you did habits 1 and 2 for the next 21 days. Imagine how great your relationship would be.

Tomorrow I will share with you habits 3 and 4...

May the love be with you.

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Raising Your Vibrations

With the Law of Attraction in mind, I want to chat about how we can raise our vibrations in order to feel lurved up or in that loving space more frequently, ESPECIALLY when we dont really feel that way.

I am sure you have heard about "fake it til you make it" and I am not referring to in the bedroom here! ha. ha.

Popular psychology will tell you that if you fake what you are feeling, eventually you will feel it, and this does in fact work. I mean think about it, it is impossible to put a smile on your face, turn your head to the ceiling and say out loud really loud, I am happy, I am happy I am happy, without laughing!!! TRY IT RIGHT NOW and you will see what I mean.

Anyway, even better than that, I have recently been testing a new MIND CONTROL program which is by far in my opinion the absolute best on the market. It totally surpasses any other program I have worked with, including Silva, Holosync (they are great too) but this program I absolutely love and I mean it really does shift your vibration and consciousness.

I add some tips from the Iain Legg of Super Mind I think they're good.

10 Ways to Raise Your Vibrations ...and Make the World a Better Place by Iain Legg

1. DON'T give away your power to people. Take responsibility for your life. If things aren't going as hoped in your life, re examine your deepest beliefs. Swap limiting beliefs for empowering ones.

2. DO get a pet! According to Power vs Force, a purring cat vibrates at 500 (anything over 200 is Good..) pet dog Cass must vibrate at least 800 with her loving licks and devotion! (She is nicknamed 'Licky' by my friends!)

3. DON'T watch movies that drag you down. According to Power vs Force, this is most films. Watch movies that will make you feel good. Listen to music that fills you with positive emotions. Read books that empower you. (Control the input to your brain, and you'll control your output).

4. DO focus on what you want in your life, not what you don't want - remember the law of attraction... You have the power to create the life of your dreams - even if the world around you seems messed up, don't lose focus...

5. DO imagine that what you dream of is in your life now, and feel grateful for it now ...and after that think of 10 more things to be grateful for.

6. DO have fun. Life is about being happy. Don't wait until you have this, or that... Don't put off happiness. Live now. Enjoy now.

7. DO seek to discover the truth about the meaning of your life. The answers are there if you look for them. Awareness and peace of mind are high vibrations.

8. DON'T watch the news on television. It is filled with negativity which lowers your vibrations. (Why is 95% of all news all the time focused on bad news?) If you want to keep abreast of current affairs search the internet for independent, unbiased news. Seek the truth. Trust your intuition. This will also help you give you a much more balanced view of reality. There's lots of good news out there if you're looking for it...

9. DO help other people. Join activist sites like that collect petitions to help humanity. Forgiveness, compassion and understanding are good vibrations.

10. DO use tools and strategies to help you achieve higher levels of consciousness, such as meditation and the free Alpha audio we're giving away...

So with that in mind, I think the best think you can do is go and collect your free alpha audio and get started on raising those vibrations!


Thursday, 5 March 2009

You Rocket Me

If you are in a relationship with someone then make sure it is someone who rockets you!

What do I mean by this. Well, in life there are three types of people.

1. The ones who sink you... now I am sure we all know a few of these people. They bring you down, they drain you of your energy, they are the ones that are always complaining, never having fun and really when you have been with them for a while, you feel like killing yourself or them.

I think you will have guessed by now that these are the ones you move away from. If you are dating someone like this, then really you want to give yourself a better chance in life.

2. The ones who float you... now these people are great people, you enjoy being with them, you have a great time, its fun, and you feel good around them. Invite more of these types of people into your life.

If you are dating someone like this, then that is good. They may not be the ONE, but you are having a good time and enjoying their company, cool!

3.The ones that rocket you...need I say anymore? The people that rocket you are the people that you cannot get enough of (now now I didn't mean like that {:) well if you are dating them then that is definitely good. The people that rocket you are keepers, you feel fantastic around them, time flies really quickly, they are like drinking an energy drink. Hopefully you will all have people like this in your life. If they are your life partner, then you are really blessed.

Now most importantly. The question you need to ask yourself is this:

Are you someone that ROCKETS other people? or are you a floater or a sinker?

Think about this for a moment now. If you are someone that rockets other people then you are doing something right. More importantly if you are someone that rockets other people then with the law of attraction in action, you cannot help but attract to you other Rockets!

What can you do today to rocket someone elses world?

If you are single and looking to find someone to rocket with, then check out my dating course
. Its a sure way to find love and the partner you have always wanted.

Until the next time.

May the love be with you!


Monday, 23 February 2009

Jack & Jills lopsided illusion

So Jack and Jill, happilly married, in love and on track, apart from the fact that the recession was taking its toll on their finances.

A lack of money is often a big problem in relationships and especially when couples dont talk about it. Well for this couple, the money problems were starting to take their toll, especially when it was Jill's birthday.

Jill knew that Jack had very little money, yet she wanted something special for her birthday. It wasn't that she expected diamonds or prada handbags, she just wanted Jack to do something to showed he cared.

Well, Jack caught up in his inner world, didn't forget it was Jill's birthday, he just knew he couldn't give Jill what she wanted or deserved so he didn't do anything. BIG MISTAKE!

What Jack failed to realise and Jill too, was that Jill see's Jack as her Knight in shining armour and Jill is tied up in her lopsided illusion that Jack can and will perform miracles.

Unfortunately for Jill this meant that she spent her birthday angry and annoyed with Jack because on some level she had bought into her lopsided illusion and as a result didn't feel special. On some level she set herself and Jack up for failure.

What could she have done differently?

Well, I think if Jill had communicated how she felt to Jack prior to her birthday, they could have discussed how they could celebrate her birthday on a budget. They could have instead created a space for love and openness and intimacy instead of Jill feeling angry and upset.

I also think that although it was Jill's special day, had she been focusing on making the relationship special rather than being special herself, they may have been able to choose to celebrate her birthday in a different way to how they usually would.

Jack could have given a gift of a pamper session from him, a bath, candles, massage or he could have prepared a special meal, or taken her to a special place.

The point here, is to recognise that we all have lopsided illusions, and with awareness and openness we can connect better in our relationships.

Jack loves Jill, he did not mean to hurt her feelings. What a gift though, to learn that being open to love can create something so much deeper.

Until next time, may the love be with you!


Is it easy to love?

I think its kinda funny that love is something most people want and yet so many people seem to find it illusive. However when one has love, ie, when one has that someone in their lives, they often spend so much of their time not loving that person.

Usually because that person has upset them, or has not loved them in the way they want to be loved.

I think alot of the time we have these illusions around love, as my friend Dr. John De Martini says they are lopsided illusions in other words, these lopsided illusions are a result of the fantasy and make believe that we experience in stories, media etc.

I sometimes wonder if the prince and princess fairytale is part of the lopsidedness. You see, I was raised with snow white and the 7 dwarves, cinderella, sleeping beauty etc. The trouble with these fairytales is the fact that we not only set ourselves up to be disappointed, we also set our men up to fail us.

Log in tomorrow for the story of Jack and Jill (clients of mine, believe it or not) and see how Jill's lopsided illusion was keeping love out of her life.

Until then
May the love be with you.