Jack & Jills lopsided illusion

So Jack and Jill, happilly married, in love and on track, apart from the fact that the recession was taking its toll on their finances.

A lack of money is often a big problem in relationships and especially when couples dont talk about it. Well for this couple, the money problems were starting to take their toll, especially when it was Jill's birthday.

Jill knew that Jack had very little money, yet she wanted something special for her birthday. It wasn't that she expected diamonds or prada handbags, she just wanted Jack to do something to showed he cared.

Well, Jack caught up in his inner world, didn't forget it was Jill's birthday, he just knew he couldn't give Jill what she wanted or deserved so he didn't do anything. BIG MISTAKE!

What Jack failed to realise and Jill too, was that Jill see's Jack as her Knight in shining armour and Jill is tied up in her lopsided illusion that Jack can and will perform miracles.

Unfortunately for Jill this meant that she spent her birthday angry and annoyed with Jack because on some level she had bought into her lopsided illusion and as a result didn't feel special. On some level she set herself and Jack up for failure.

What could she have done differently?

Well, I think if Jill had communicated how she felt to Jack prior to her birthday, they could have discussed how they could celebrate her birthday on a budget. They could have instead created a space for love and openness and intimacy instead of Jill feeling angry and upset.

I also think that although it was Jill's special day, had she been focusing on making the relationship special rather than being special herself, they may have been able to choose to celebrate her birthday in a different way to how they usually would.

Jack could have given a gift of a pamper session from him, a bath, candles, massage or he could have prepared a special meal, or taken her to a special place.

The point here, is to recognise that we all have lopsided illusions, and with awareness and openness we can connect better in our relationships.

Jack loves Jill, he did not mean to hurt her feelings. What a gift though, to learn that being open to love can create something so much deeper.

Until next time, may the love be with you!

Maxine

Is it easy to love?

I think its kinda funny that love is something most people want and yet so many people seem to find it illusive. However when one has love, ie, when one has that someone in their lives, they often spend so much of their time not loving that person.

Usually because that person has upset them, or has not loved them in the way they want to be loved.

I think alot of the time we have these illusions around love, as my friend Dr. John De Martini says they are lopsided illusions in other words, these lopsided illusions are a result of the fantasy and make believe that we experience in stories, media etc.

I sometimes wonder if the prince and princess fairytale is part of the lopsidedness. You see, I was raised with snow white and the 7 dwarves, cinderella, sleeping beauty etc. The trouble with these fairytales is the fact that we not only set ourselves up to be disappointed, we also set our men up to fail us.

Log in tomorrow for the story of Jack and Jill (clients of mine, believe it or not) and see how Jill's lopsided illusion was keeping love out of her life.

Until then
May the love be with you.
Maxine

Valentines

Tonight I am off the LAMG in London to give a talk on my new process Date CV.

It's going to be great fun, definitely if you are single, or challenged in your relationship you should come along.

Dave CV is the title of my new book and seminar to be launched at the end of March..,

Watch this space, and in the meantime, have a HAPPY Valentines Day.

May the Love be with you.

All the best
Maxine